Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
