this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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