I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My vagina is very pro this idea
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
