Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
