So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
