if you like me you must not know who I am
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
