Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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