I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you had me at cake vodka
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
