I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
