how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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