a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
