Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
