i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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