thus making me awesome and them whores
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize