But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
