I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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