I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
