You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
