Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
