explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize