no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
