And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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