Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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