hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
