He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize