yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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