That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
