i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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