when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
