she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
