Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
