I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
