Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
