You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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