Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
