to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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