he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
