How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
