Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
