i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize