I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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