I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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