what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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