I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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