I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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