So drunk its hurt
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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