how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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