So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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