Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
