And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
