And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
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