honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
