You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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