Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize