they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize