I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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