My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
