where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
