It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
