maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
